road trip

Obamatime...

in my last post, i implied that perhaps not all was right with the world....yesterday afternoon at this exact  time i was filled with apprehension as we drove across the mountain range that separates Oaxaca city from Puerto Escondido on the Pacific coast of Mexico...twists and turns in the steep mountain road presented at least three near death misses, probably the "normal" stats for a 6 hour drive on this particular road....

my fear however was not the winding Mexican road nor the seemingly out of control cars narrowly missing our van head on nor the fast failing brake system on our Chevy van ....but i was scared to death that Barack Obama would not win...of course i knew he was ahead in all of the polls, but i could not let myself get too excited nor project victory in my own mind...i was prepared for disappointment....i had cast my vote before leaving New York, but i was so so afraid that some who were enthusiastic about Obama would just not go to the polls....

our Oaxaca workshop crew, taking vacation to the beach, and having survived the trip; Anton Kusters, Marie Arago, Mike Courvoisier, Maya Joseph-Goteiner, and Michael Young , could not believe the text messages coming to us within an hour of our arrival in Puerto Escondido....Obama was THE MAN!!!  next President of the United States...we rushed around trying to find a television and saw Obama's acceptance speech and immediately ordered a round of celebratory tequilas...

Barack Obama cannot "save the world", and if any President must face a "twisting mountain road" it is Obama....but, at least some amount of pride must be shared by most Americans and hopefully by our international friends who have been so disappointed by many American foreign policy decisions in recent years...i have not felt proud of my country's leadership  for some time now , and we have a lot to do to restore at least some confidence in America, but i feel so so proud today that my countryman have chosen Barack Obama....

what does any of this have to do with our photography???  maybe nothing, maybe someting...strong leadership inspires people to go to work...to fix things....sacrifice perhaps...possibly put a "brick in the wall" ....some of you will use your work to promote "understanding" , to show wrongdoing or injustice, or  to send any kind of message of hope...we cannot "save the world" any more than can Barack Obama...

but, aren't things at least a little better than they were yesterday at this same time????

troubled waters.....

    

does it seem to you that so many things seem to be a mess at the same time?? the financial market, the war, the campaign, and oh yes right here on our blog...er, forum...

right here, after almost exactly two years, things could appear to be coming  unglued...as i read your comments and e-mails, while usually thought provoking, i see  dissension, in-fighting "behind the scenes", angry rants,  and signs of weariness abound....

is it time for us to "cash in our chips" and walk away from the table at least not completely broke??

i mean nobody HAS to be here!! and almost all of our regular writers have openly "quit the blog" at one time or another...or at least threatened to...me included...

as Tom Waits once asked, "whatever happened to saturday night?"...

you can bet that i am very curious about what you think....but, i will tell you now what i think....

we started as strangers and became a "family"...or , at least, a family "type"...basically a pretty healthy happy family...i mean, we hung out together all the time....i do not know about you, but my girlfriend told me more than once that i loved all of you more than i did her...or sure seemed to spend  a  lot of time on this relationship, perhaps  more than that relationship....she might have had a point...or a least a legitimate complaint....

lots invested here all around.....your writing, your photographs, my writing, my mentoring....a nice little creative trade out that seemed to work for all....lots of great photographic  work came from many of you....after all we actually "produced" right here and continue to do so...blog  generated essays...ways of thinking to lead to more work....generous critique from all of us....no "tech talk" , but a lot of "life talk"...

and all based on the assumption that if we are not human beings first, no good "art" could come out  of it...my mantra for all of you to "look in the mirror" sure as hell worked for so many of you, and if nothing else comes out of our time here, then just wait and see when all your  introspective work gets published in the very near future....but looking in the mirror does not always reflect a pretty picture...some digging deep might unearth the very demons that both drive and destroy....other "reflections" reveal an inner strength and peace....so , do we not all learn from each other???

people "out there" really  believed in us...still do....generous donations from anonymous givers have come in this year to be invested in YOU....our Emerging Photographer Fund will continue no matter what and was born from our "family" right here in ethereal blogland...

so what happened to our family that birthed all this incredibly positive stuff?

well, what happened  i think is that we actually became a" real family" ....anybody here know a "real family" that has not seen: dissension, infighting "behind the scenes", angry rants, and signs of weariness ????   sounds pretty familiar to me coming from a very tight loving family....the phrase "dysfunctional family" gets thrown around a lot, so i will throw it around one more time....aren't all "real families" pretty dysfunctional one way or another?? 

if we are a "real family" , then why in hell wouldn't we share all of the characteristics that anybody in their right mind well knows personifies FAMILY ??  i say smiling "too bad", but true...well, what the hell?? at least we've got a roof over our heads!!

so you tell me....should we keep rolling or not??  every single writer here who ever "quit", sooner or later returned..talked into it by their friends they met here....and even a few by  their "sometime enemies"...i can right off the bat  think of two serious clashes from talented photographers here, BOTH of whom i have promised to mentor book projects...and i will....and for anyone else here who shows promise...

do you not think there have been "clashes" among some of the most talented icons you may know??  yet still they form an extended family....ultimate respect born of just flat out acknowledgment and acceptance  that we do not all think alike , photograph alike, nor behave alike...do you not think i have seen this at Magnum for example??  are we not still stronger after all these 61 years of being very very different from each other?? would we be a "happier stronger family" if we all walked , talked and looked alike???  i do not think so... sounds boring to me....sounds stifling to me....

i have always been suspicious of  "families" that were just too too "perfect"...as a matter of fact ,i have seen more divorces among the "happy couples" than the ones who figuratively knock each other around a bit..i also think  we can be honest with each other , yet  show some common decency and respect as well....

so, i think we now sink or swim....choice 100% up to you...not me....i cannot pull off my totally energized ideas now of an online magazine, to be manifested in print as well, without all of you lending a hand...some of you perhaps more "hands on" than others, but we "sink or swim" on the "whole"  ...i believe  we are in a position to do great things...unique...first class ticket....i think most of you smell this  too...

our interaction is unparalleled in blogland...you must know that....we have been "here" for each other time and time again...but, should we  take the "next step"??  it is not that "all good things come to an end"...it is that "he who hesitates is lost" or some other tried and true phrase that i cannot think of right now that connotes something like "what the hell, why not give it a shot?"  see, i know already that one of the brilliant writers here will "set this up" just right and be most eloquent.....

yes, everything does seem to be a bit of a mess....it seems that worldwide, things could swing one way or the other....we all feel it....there is promise, there is potential disaster...so, what do we do with our little microcosm of life??  let it stall, or make it fly with the wind???

"troubled waters" or "sea of change" ???? 

surf's up....

all anybody ever talks about down here in the Outer Banks of North Carolina is the weather... wind and the direction thereof is on everyone's mind and it is cause and effect of  the changing patterns affecting fishermen and surfers who make up most of the population..and, oh yes, there are a few photographers ...and all they talk about is the weather too...

yesterday afternoon was summer warm and i had a good swim (with a stranger's dog above) right at the perfect hour for shark shore feeding.. well, there has been only one fatal shark attack here in the last 6 years, so i enjoyed the hour....anyway, today is colder and gray....but, i will swim again right after i do this post....we all know a swim in the surf seems to heal the body and soul....a natural "massage" for our bodies  and the salt water, from whence we came, seems to balance us both mentally and physically....

in my experience and friendship with so many photographers, "balance" does always seem to be the number one  problem for most....either too much work or not enough work or too much of one kind of picture and not enough of an other kind of picture seem to plague many...we have talked before about the  personal life/professional life conundrum, but i am writing now about the delicate balance within the world  of actual picture taking itself...i am assuming in this conversation that everyone's personal life is just fine!!!

Gayle Tiller (below) is a local photographer , who happens to be a single mom, and has raised her three daughters alone now for the last 9 years...she mostly photographs families right here on this beach where i have photographed her as part of my family project (weekly postings now under "work in progress")....

Gayle spends lots of time with her daughters and the locals say they rarely see one without the other during the summer months..she says "i love just hanging out with the girls...they are my favorite people to be with and we are all really good friends"...so, Gayle has her personal life worked out and she totally enjoys doing her beach portraits....she does not want for more...

i am curious about most of you and your "balance sheet"...do you photograph mostly the things you love or do you have obligatory shooting to do???  which way does the wind blow?   

ok, i am off for a swim...camera along with me of course....i never know what i will run into along these shark infested shores...

     

 

poll....

for sure you cannot pick up a newspaper or turn on the television in the U.S. and not see the latest "poll results" regarding the choosing of the next leader of the "free world"...polls, polls, and more polls....we have an international readership here, but i suspect the choice of the next President of the United States is of concern to one and all...

with world financial markets crashing all around us, and an almost doomsday paranoia seeping into the souls of even the most optimistic, certainly what happens on November 1 is of more than passing interest....

while the U.S. cannot be blamed for ALL that is wrong in the world today, it must surely bear a lot of responsibility...if a country rises to prominent world power, it must "take the heat" when things are a mess...and i think we can safely say that things are not exactly "tidy"....

this is a photo blog.....by some kind of unspoken consensus, we have all pretty much agreed here to not talk about religion , sex, or politics (the three most interesting topics in the world), but concentrate instead on the philosophy and practice of becoming better photographers....of course, everyone knows that becoming a better photographer is primarily about "awareness" and not necessarily knowing how many megapixels aunt Mary has in her new "point and shoot"...

so, on a sunny bright  morning here on the Eastern Shore of Virginia, 20 miles from the largest military complex in the world, and  as i prepare to photograph a military family,  i have decided to take my own international poll...

since we really should not  go into politics here , i will couch this poll in photographic terms ...you may fantasize either digital or film...black & white or color.....

who would you most like TO PHOTOGRAPH in January of 2009....Obama or McCain???

aftermath.....

 

all good things must come to an end....i hate writing those words....but, those words are one of life's  little truisms....and i suppose the richness of any experience is actually enhanced by the very fact that it is temporary...so all of us, when smack in the middle of the buzz of camaraderie, just try to soak it all up as best we can, knowing full well the moment will soon be stored on the hard drives of our memory and the "reality" will be gone..

such are my musings on a clear monday morning after an often not so clear recollection of all that went on last week..."intense" is, i suppose, a reasonably good way to describe the gathering last week in my loft....i cannot recall a more dynamic, often frustrating, and ultimately rewarding workshop class...and segued into a gathering of our online forum tribe the likes of which have not quite happened before and will not likely happen again....or will it??

my apartment looked like a war zone hospital ward (sleeping guests everywhere) the night after the night after the celebration ,following the friday evening student slide show, lasting up until just a few hours ago...no joke...all of us knew something really "special" was happening with our community here, and nobody wanted to "let go"...

many of you have read all of the comments leading up to this gathering and the reports are still coming in, but i can assure you that we all felt the "surge" of a new era...the feeling that so many things are possible for us...and the promise of good things to come...

most of you, of course, were not here in my loft....and we talked about that....there is nothing worse than reading about somebody else having a good time....but, i hope the spirit of the work that was produced by the students (soon to be posted) and the general good vibes of your colleagues here will be somehow transmitted into your psyche....the beauty of the whole thing was this: our online relationship has manifested itelf into reality..both in the work many of you have done and in the personal friendships which have been built...i expect this to be carried forward into more good work by you and in personal meetings in the future...

now we must all get back to work...the party is over.....those who were here must get back to their "normal lives" and i must get out on the road on my family project  in a couple of days...but, we have all changed...a little bit of last week and the weekend will stay with us forever...treasured....thought about over and over and over again...play back the tape....this story will last....

perhaps the appropriate "truism" is that all really good things end up with a life of their own....

sunday morning ramble...

this is just a quick hello and goodbye...i just have no free time to be here with another workshop just started etc....this could be the last workshop i do here in my New York space for any number of reasons...in any case, and you know me by now, i will put everything i have into this one..as i do in everything i do connected with my work...other matters are often  a disaster, but whatever i do regarding photography, i am all in...whether it is my own work or my mentoring of others...two different "bodies of work" but both equally important and both with an equal piece of the "whole"

so, allow me please this brief break with our forum so that i may focus on your colleagues who are here in my home...by the way, everyone in my home right now is a reader of this forum...most silent non writers, but they know all of you who write and can recite me various incidents, paragraphs, and all kinds of things from right here...

point is, we are all having an impact on each other..yes, yes , the power of the net etc etc etc...well, by fate, or whatever, our online community has turned into reality so many times, from my first meeting with Rafal in Seoul to hanging with Patricia in Detroit...and a whole bunch of stuff going on in between at Look3 and Perpignan and just out there on the highway..you know who you are...you remember the good times and the truly sweet reality of what it feels like to know someone before you meet them and then take off on another whole new side of the friendship..and, you must admit, it has turned into real friendships...i am sure we all agree that our beleaguered world can use every drop of good spirit we can squeeze into it..but all any of us can do is just make your immediate environment as good a place as you can make it...

my life set of rules for myself: set up good vibes within a 20 foot imaginary space created around me....give everyone in that space as much room as they want....make whoever is right next to me laugh..

this weekend upcoming will be another one of our "forum family reunions"....i hope there will be many more....in that spirit it might just be the right time for me to show just a piece of my Off for a Family Drive work at the finale fiesta this friday night..seems like maybe we should look at some of these American families i met cross country  just because of our times, not because i my pictures....i will think on it....Alessandra Sanguinetti and Paul Fusco will precede the student show, but i just might stick "family drive" in there somewhere....what do you think??

after all, it will be a family night...

graduation day....

      

the slide show for At Home workshop 2008 should be up now (under Movies ..my home page) and loads in about 15 secs on my computer..we had it down for awhile trying to get out the flicker, but it is such a big file , i am not sure we can do better..but still trying..

anyway, i do hope you enjoy the show...these students did the impossible  to get this work done in just a few days...

most of you know, but not everyone, that this is all ORIGINAL WORK shot last week..could the final show be better?? of course... but this show is being produced right up until a half hour before show time...so, it is RAW, but reflects the sensitivity, timing, aesthetic and dedication of these emerging photographers..

 

some may not understand the workshop "ritual", so i will give you a little "brief"..

the whole point of this workshop is to allow emerging photographers a chance to totally develop artistically and realistically....i push each student in her/his personal direction based on THEM , not  me.....or maybe "stretch" is better than "push"..in any case, i  study the portfolios even before they are accepted into the class....class limit 12...as soon as possible, i spend an hour with each student one on one to get "into their head" and figure out what they really want to "say"....as you will  see most are quite conceptual while still bearing witness...

my daily critiques of the previous day's shooting often leave blood and tears on the floor...while this is definitely a philosophy class perhaps more than  a photography class,  we do have REAL PRODUCTION in mind...we knew at the beginning of last week we would be following the shows of Gene Richards and Bruce Gilden and with a live audience of New York photo world...

do you think there is any pressure?? 

but, i find that by throwing people in water over their heads, they swim like hell....

do the photographers  have to be strong.. affirmative.. do they have to be tough?? absolutely... do they have to be more sensitive and open up their hearts more than they have ever done in their lives?? necessarily...

i put just as much effort into the teaching of these workshops and into the final production as anything i  do ...period....my class knows i am asking them to work no harder than i am working myself....

nobody actually shoots for all of the 6 shooting days allowed...theoretically they can, but they stumble..re-think...start over...mucho time is spent researching, re-working ideas, tapping the subconscious, and reaching out into new visual territory by just "letting go" of all that "binds" ..i show my work, sometimes contact sheets, to help the photographers think about approach etc etc..

besides the obvious gratitude to Gene and Bruce who headlined the final show, i had "hands on" guests throughout the week...i want to thank Alex and Rebecca Webb for jamming with us one morning and showing us their new book on Cuba...many many thanks to Melissa Harris who gave us a personal tour through the Koudelka show, Invasion Prague 68, currently at Aperture Gallery, Melissa gathered the students around her on the floor of the gallery and told  us of weeks of work to hang this show....Melissa is the editor of Aperture Magazine and has been the editor of so many books...Song from Magnum advertising department told us about the realities of shooting for ad agencies and selling stock..many thanks Song...suffering a serious thug induced brain injury while a photographer for the Sacramento Bee, and now a NY freelancer, John Trotter came by and showed us his amazing new book on a treatment center for major head trauma..he did it while being inside as a patient...silent room...gracias amigo..

my biggest thank you goes to  Michael Courvoisier who really ran this workshop and will run the upcoming one in Mexico.... Oaxaca:Day of the Dead (see story under "student work/workshops")...Mike stays calm in a storm...handles both students and me with equal aplomb...we lost Marie temporarily  right before this workshop nor did we have an intern, so Mike and i had to do everything ourselves...from  inner working organizing to making coffee and getting the morning bagels to mopping the floor...i love  to mop...

intense week??  more than intense.... day and night and night and day we were shooting, editing, listening to music , discussing directions to move and just flat out busting it... and when we weren't doing that, we were seeing a presentation from one of the above or showing my works.

party??? not until the last night my friends, not until the last night..and by that time, all of the suffering over, and the room quiet and the lights down and a buzz in the crowd from the Gilden/Richards show comes, yes, my student show....so proud ..and can't believe we actually did it again "against all odds" from where we were even the night before..

show over....credit slides...applause long and sweet....i introduce each photographer to the crowd telling about their story..more applause...warm tears this time...this time blood pumping warm and flushing the faces...hugs, kisses, and ok one more hug....

now, finally, finally..time to PARTY DOWN......(and we did!!)

war photographers.....

 

we have read quite a bit in the "comments" about the "a good time was had by all" at this year's Visa Pour L'Image (Perpignan)...and surely this was true....at least by most...however, this year's photo fest, which celebrates conflict photography above all, was in fact, in itself, a scene of violence and death...

Jason P. Howe (above) author of "Columbia:Between the Lines" and veteran war photographer in Iraq, Afghanistan and Lebanon, was beaten senseless by five men as he left an evening slide show ... he  was heading to have a beer with us at the very Cafe Le Poste  in this picture...he said "they just kept yelling "money, money, money" ..i would have given them whatever i had...but they did not give me a chance..they just attacked...all they got was my cell phone..it was all i had on me"....Jason also told me that in all of his years being in and out of ridiculously dangerous situations, this was actually the worst thing that had happened to  him....

worse, 48 hrs before, and ironically  in the very spot where Jason stands for this picture, a local teenage woman took her own life by jumping from the top of the Castillet crashing to the ground in front of the merry festival goers sitting at this most popular "people watching" spot...

war photographer Bruno Stevens who has covered conflicts in Africa, Iraq, Afghanistan, Lebanon etc. said to me "i have seen everything doing my work...dismembered bodies, death all around, yet what i saw right here at Cafe le Poste was far and away the worst thing i have ever witnessed in my whole life..i cannot get over it..i am truly shaken".....

by all accounts , Perpignan is a quiet, charming,  peaceful town in the south of France by the sea...friendly locals who will remember you from year to year....good food and wine...and home of surely the very best photojournalism festival in the world...i would recommend it to anyone who may want to have documentary photography in their life...and i will return and walk without fear in the streets day or night...

but this year was a grim reminder that LIFE HAPPENS everywhere, all the time...ironic and tragic that these events happened at this event, but none of us can be spared from the realities that surround us at all times...we cannot have the PROTECTION from life that we may fantasize...all of us try, all of us fail...

this is not the first irony for me involving life around Cafe le Poste...all of the best war photographers in the  world were gathered on this very same spot on September 9,2001...i remember "shooting" a couple of tequilas with the war photographer of all war photographers Jim Nachtwey and all of the VII crew since they had just "launched" their agency...laughter, hugs, merriment....48 hours later Jim watched the second tower of the World Trade Center come down on top of him and i watched it from 15 blocks away...the weather that day was perfect....

life is fragile...fleeting....never to be taken for granted...no matter how sunny the day or how good the wine....does this story sound pessimistic coming from me??  i hope not....i am always optimistic by nature....my optimism comes from knowing about the fragility of life....knowing that i should always enjoy every  moment given to me and that every moment is special...i do not live in fear....

what about you??   where does your "reality check" kick in??  do you "fear the worst" or do you "expect the best"???

 

 

 

for the very first time...

so many topics get discussed here, that it sometimes makes my head spin...but, it all pretty much centers on "the photographic life" and how we can all best "live it"...yes, the photographs themselves are indeed our final "net worth", yet getting to these photographs , this incomparable journey, is an entity in and of itself...

this is not exactly "news"...but, i never cease to be inspired by this simple simple fact that this journey is unending  and leads us down paths we would never go down without our cameras in hand....seeing something, being a part of something "for the very first time", just gets me BUZZING in way that unfortunately i cannot really put into words...

last night was such an experience...the owner of my building in New York is an Hasidic man ...Nachman...a man hard to know, hard to "figure out", rarely speaks, and seems mostly to want his rent check on time...i have never signed a legal piece of paper in my three years in the now almost famous "kibbutz" building and my "business" with Nachman is all eye contact and a hand shake...it works....i pay my rent on time and that is that....i have asked  Nachman from time to time if i could photograph is  family...he always says no...three years worth of  NO..

just one day before i went down to the beach to be with my family, Nachman stopped by to get his rent  check....he sat down....for a long 20 minutes or so....even smiled...he invited Mike and Marie and me to his daughter's wedding....nobody else in the building was invited  and we were the only non-Jewish guests to be...this wedding was last night and i had absolutely zero time to go, but i went anyway...with ten rolls of 220  Tri-X (not enough)...

i will get to the point....i think most of you know that i have been blessed with being able to make photographs almost every day since i was 12 or so...  some might  think by now that i would have "seen it all"...maybe even bored with having seen it all...surely i have "been around the block" a few times...however, even i continue to be amazed at being amazed...

what i witnessed last night, or rather what i was a "part of" last night at the  wedding , was definitely a "for the very first time" immersion  ....

a brand new never saw this before didn't know this happened before what is going to happen next i am not prepared and i am missing everything kind of experience...do you know this feeling??

if only i had any kind of insight or knowledge or "guide" or anything, but i had to take it "straight up"...no clues...no "map"...Nachman smiled watching me "work"...and all i could think of was that i had better get something "good enough" to make Nachman happy...

i was not thinking about you or my Magnum mates or anybody to "satisfy" except Nachman....somehow i was working for HIM.....yet, he did not ask me to take one single picture of anything in particular and i offered to do so ....he has seen my "work in  progress" on my walls, has never commented on any of it, and yet he seemed to know exactly what i was doing and what i would do  and  he let me roll roll roll...

 

when Marie and i sat down briefly last night to "review the evening" we commented to each other...."now THAT is what photography is all about...."  to be so so INSIDE and to bear witness to something that you would NEVER have seen otherwise...even the other Hasidics did not see or experience what i did....i moved freely from the "men's side" to the "women's side", so NOBODY actually experienced the wedding in quite the way that did i...

ENERGY  comes from these moments....our "raison d'ete"...all of the other "stuff" that we all have to put up with in our often frustrating craft  ,  totally disappears  when we slide into the  warm arms of real discovery  and enlightenment....

don't tell anybody, but i only left the party (yes, Hasidics party!!)  when i RAN OUT OF FILM!!...but,  i think the  moment was over anyway...at least, that is what i keep telling myself....i do not even want to know  what happened later...regrets??  oddly , no....

oh yes, did i get any good pictures??  quien sabe...i made all of my usual mistakes...i only hope i have something that Nachman will like...

i would just like to see him smile one more time...